I was going  to see Lilly just to talk about our relationship when she walked up to me in the street.    She looked as lovely as before, but there was something off.   She had a bite on her lip, and she had a black eye!

"What in the actual fuck," I asked concerned for her.  "Did he do to you?"

"Remember that he was controlling," Lilly said ashamed.  "He is also abusive." 

"He do all this to you?"

"And broke three of my ribs,"  she proceeded to say.  "He said that I was not C.T. material for not dealing with pain."

"What a shitbag,"  I said. 

"He is also cheating on me, too."

"Fucker!!" I said. "Why did you not tell me."

She broke up and said, "Because I was ashamed."

"It's him that should be ashamed."

That was when she cried as much as her broken ribs could take.  Really, it was him who should be with a broken bone.  But I dare not think that way.  What was this jerk supposed to attack me.   As I was small but I was strong.  He wouldn't last with me.   Soon, I started to question her about what he was doing to her.  It was not because of her lying to me before. But still, I was skeptical.   

"So what did he do," I asked angrily.

"Well, everything short of torture."

"Goddamn it," I scowled. "He and the sharks will pay for what they are doing to us."

"But the sharks are created by extremists,"  Lilly said. 

I went back to my brother's apartment and got the harpoon gun.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To get shark food!"  I said.  I could not take it out on Julio, but I could with the sharks.

As I enter the bedroom of my brother, he is perplexed at me going into his room.

"What the fuck are you doing," he belted out.

"Gone fishing!"  I exclaimed.

"You don't know how to fish!!!!"

"Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but i  am right now."  I said.  "Well, maybe I can,

"Lilly cheated on me with an abusive self righteous prick and got hurt... that good enough for you," I said, picking up the harpoon gone and started today,"I can't take it out on him, but I can with the sharks!"

I never felt so angry that I was mouthing off to my brother.  My only brother.    As I started walking through the door, I started to curse under my breath.

"Should you be writing," he said. I proceeded to swing at him. I did not need his bullshit before, and I don't need it now. And besides, Julio could have released the sharks himself pinning it on al-qaeda.

He was just thst crafty, I thought.  You could not know much about these extremists without going mad yourself, I thought.  But I just needed proof.

But how was I going to get the fucking proof.  That was the question.

Soon, I went back to Lilly and told her that we were going to the beach to go shark hunting.  That was one thing, but I could not help but foam at the mouth as if I had rabies.

I even acted like it to.

"Just come with me, Lilly!"

"It isn't him that caused  this whole upset.  It was the fucking extremists that released them out in the wild to destroy us."

"Really!?" 

"He told me," she said.  "Before he went all psycho on me."

"What in the actual fuck are you talking about?"

"The FBI looked at the video it was authentic al-qeada footage." 

"Damn it!" I yelled.  "How do you know..."

"I saw some papers he had before he went nuts on me."

"And why is that!!!???" I asked, barking.  Soon, the sky opened up, and it was thundering and raining.  In all instances, this would be good because we were going through a nasty heat wave, and this would have broken it.  So I could not tell what was rain and what where lillys tears.

She just stood there as I went to get ready to "go fishing!"

I had to take it  out on the sharks, and that was it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I had to get rid of these fucking things.  To be fair, I would never hurt another living thing. If they were just normal sharks, that would be different.  But this was a different ball game. 

As I looked back, I saw Lilly looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "What are you waiting for an invitation!  Come on!"

I saw the weary smile grow on her face.  That being said, I could not ask for a better girlfriend."I am coming, Jimmy!"

She rannas fast as her ribs would allow.  But I could wait for her to come to me.   Besides, someone had to help me this....as I could not pull a two ton shark up myself  as a trophy.  That was for damn sure.   That was when I walked nit ran hand in hand with Lilly to the beach to stop more carnage  from happening.  But that was the tip of the iceberg  as far as destruction and especially with my anger.

When we got to the beach, it looked as if now was heeding the warning that the government issued about the super sharks.  For just a mile away, it looked like an outdoor red room.  That being said, a red room is where people are killed online for money and fun.... that being said, I remember going into one of these red rooms as a 13 year old kid who did not understand the internet.  For one I thought the red room was like.the backrooms of this age, a fucking game.  My mother and I nearly had a heart attack when I went on this website. It wasn't even the dark web.  Yes, I was that stupid as a kid. 

So it took me Facebook to get out of that rut. 

Now, back to the story.  The fucking beach looked like an outdoor red room.  There was no mistaking the site of human blood and carnage that we were going to see.  And that is the best way to describe this fuck up..  it was carnage pure and simple.

So I could not bare  to loom at the grim sight that I had to see. I also had to warn Lilly about what she was going to see.  "This is not going to he pretty!"

As soon  as we got to the beach, I started to smell something that was putrid.  The smell of rotting flesh and blood. It turned my stomach.  Someone had to really hate us to inflict this type of sick shit.  That was for sure.

"This fucking stinks," I said trying to bold my breakfast down.    Which I managed to do but to so good.  As we looked around, we just saw red everywhere, and we smelled carnage  all over.  We wete going to have to take a shower after this.  That was for sure.  

Then don't a super shark jump on the beach and start going after us?   It did come out of the water and started to chase after us. This was frightening, to say the least.  So we were chased at, and soon the shark nearly bit off Lilly's skirt, exposing her underwear. 

"Shit!" She said.   "Fucking shark bit my skirt off!" 

"Let's get out of here!"  I said shooting the harpoon gun but it only distracted the shark.  "Now!!!!"

"That was my favorite skirt."

"I care, but I can't right now," I said.  "That thing is hungry and angry."

It seemed like the creature was going to chase us up and down main street.  Until Kitty came to punch it in the nose.  Where did she come from.

"What are you doing," Kitty asked, punching the shark in the nose.

Supposedly, punching a shark in the nose will scar it way.  But that might be urban myth and typically in water, too.  So this might not work. But then the shark went to the water.

"That was close,"  I said. "Thank you."

"Get the fuck out of my hair," Lilly said.

It seemed like I might have made a friend other than jojo and Lilly.  So, in that case, we ran back to the upper mainstream and hailed a taxi to get us back to my brothers apartment.

"You smell terrible," the taxi driver said.  He looked south Asian and friendly.  "I will take you where you need to go, but just get out...."

"We will,"  I assured him.     That was when I saw the apartment building coming up. "Right there, thank you."

"No, thank you."

"Shit, get in the shower," my brother said. "Damn it!"

I started to take off my clothes, and that was when I saw that Lilly was disrobing, too.

"What are you doing,"  I asked.

"Joining you."

"We just started talking to each other again," I said.

"I know," she said.  "Maybe we can start again, jimmy!"

"Will you be with him again," I asked. 

"No," she said, leaning in for a kiss. I could not help but kiss her passionately.  "You know I didn't want to be with him....he was a creep."

"That was for sure."

"Maybe we can take this to the shower."

"Sure," she said.  Soon, I put on the water and started to make out with her.  As the water ran, we could her my brother call Lilly a fat pig.  He was body negative and more of a pig than her.

He would stare at anything that was skinny and wore a skirt.  That was one thing about it that really annoyed me.  Was that he would objectify women.  This and his drinking.  Those were why I could not get along with him beside him being a criminal.

"Shit," I said, " he making you look bad again."

Soon, I started to hate him with everything in my body.  Right down to my DNA.    I just could not stand the guy.   Soon I would dry off and get dressed.

As I emerged from my room I started to yell, "You're a shit! You know that...."

"Well that is what people told me."

"Yeah well this is your fucking sister telling this to your face!" I pointed.  "Don't ever say that again about Lilly."

He just looked at me and started to shake uncontrollably.  As if he was afraid of me. 

'"The Wendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation. Its desiccated skin pulled tightly over its bones. With its bones pushing out against its skin, its complexion the ash-gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into their sockets, the Wendigo looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disinterred from the grave. What lips it had were tattered and bloody ... Unclean and suffering from suppuration of the flesh, the Wendigo gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition of death and corruption." My Nana  told me.

"One time long ago a big Windigo stole an Indian boy, but the boy was too thin, so the Windigo didn't eat him up right away, but he travelled with the Indian boy waiting for him till he'd get fat. The Windigo had a knife, and he'd cut the boy on the hand to see if he was fat enough to eat, but the boy didn't get fat. They traveled too much. One day, they came to an Indian village, and the Windigo sent the boy to the Indian village to get some things for him to eat. He just gave the boy so much time to go there and back. The boy told the Indians that the Windigo was near them and showed them his hand where the Windigo cut him to see if he was fat enough to eat. They heard the Windigo calling the boy. He said to the boy, "Hurry up. Don't tell lies to those Indians." All of these Indians went to where the Windigo was and cut off his legs. They went back again to see if he was dead. He wasn't dead. He was eating the juice (marrow) from the inside of the bones of his legs that were cut off. The Indians asked the Windigo if there was any fat on them. He said, "You bet there is, I have eaten lots of Indians. No wonder they are fat." The Indians then killed him and cut him to pieces. This was the end of this Giant Windigo."  she continued.

as a little girl, I was one for the creepy and unknown things.  my grandmother knew about this and told me many stories from krampus  to the wendigo.   as I enjoyed these stories, but I just knew them as that...stories.  but that was until I moved to almonte to be with my husband.  for one, his family was not doing well and needed help... not financially but health wise.   as. you can tell most of his family suffered from cancer or had it at one pointninnthere lives. soon I was responsible for my kids and soon my self -when the moved out.

but I would wish that they did not move out.  but that was the nature order of things.   soon, I was going to be alone in the world.  something I wish someone would be needing witnesses for what I was going to see.

as I went to check for the mail in my mailbox, and I also checked the little free library that I ran next to it.  it was six at night and winter.    that was when I looked to see if there were any new books or books to be replaced in the book box."  But then I was going to head inside to the warmth when I heard the breathing. 

but that wasn't just thar it was breathing.   but the next night, I saw the glowing red eyes and smelled the worst smell that there was.  it was as if something dead was rotting and decaying.

that was when the thing emerged from the shadows it looked like a starving human with antlers.  as I went chase it off, I soon realized that the thing was hungry and also it was a wendigo.   but I could not believe my own eyes.  at the ti e it was below 0, and no one was out to see this happened. 

this thing jumped and tried to attack me.  I screamed, but no one would come to my rescue.  I had to fight this thing off myself. 

soon, I grabbed something as heavy as baseball bat, and I swung at the wendigo.  soon, I was going to run back inside, but not before seeing the thing run back into the shadows.  

no one would believe me if I told them.  so this will be my first time mentioning that. 

yes, my Nana used to tell me about the cryptids Luke krampus or the wendigo.  but really, they hold some water.  I'm just very careful at night.'  

I was writing this to keep mind of the feelings that I was having even though they were positive.  I like to write to get whatever was out. Plus, I was furious at Gillian  Andrew's.  I had a lot of feelings to clear out.  This was like clearing a piercing  with saline.   This was saline for my soul, the writing.   As I went proofread, another thing was cluttering me up. There was an emotional  that I could not comprehend.  Although they were positive, I couldn't help but keep thinking about them.  And the source.  For one, I loved January, and she made my heart do.  But I could not help but try to push it aside.  It could be the tough girl in me.

As I finished, I saw this new woman in my father's life.  Her name was Alex.  She seemed nice as I had seen her here before. But I wanted to know more about her. 

"Hello Alex," I said.  I knew she was a writer and that she won the wattpad watty's a couple of times.  "Could you help me please with this writing!"  

"Sure," Alex said.  "Is this the Sasquatch book that you are writing...."

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Your father told me that you are an aspiring tattoo artist/piercer and writer."  She pointed out.

"Oh, he has a bit of a big mouth,"  she said. "But I could use your help."

And so I showed her the character profiles, the prologue, and the first chapter. As I went to tell her about the characters, that was when I actually came clean about how I see the world.

"So I think I might be in love," I said.  "To another girl, and that is all she is wonderful.  Also, I am being bullied because of it."

"Bullied, how?"  She asked.

"They get me in shit and start fights  with me and even take my lunch and eat it."

"That is awful," she said.  "I could imagine this.you know I was bullied half to death as a teen."

"Really," I said.  "I also don't want to be an artist or writer. I just wond about being in forensics, really."

"But you are so good,"  she said.

"It's just stress relief," I stated.

I started to show her my art and the kind of music i like.   Then she started to put on this cool 2003 transplants song, called Diamonds and Guns.

This is how it went.

'Bombs going off in Sierra Leone

Taken more shots than Karl Malone

Battle looms, your doom, injustice entombed

Who got the diamonds? Who gonna find them?

Who gonna mine them, when the time comes?

Diamonds and Guns, Diamonds and Guns.

It's a wicked world that we live in

It's cruel and unforgiving

It's a wicked world that we live in

It's cruel and unforgiving

Knock, knock, knock, who's that? It's Momma, son

Lookin' for the bitch who took the money and run

Now the daylight's gone and there's no more fun

And who's the fuckin' bitch who stole all the heroin?

Heroin, heroin, it's all gone

Smoked it all up, and now you got none

And now you look around and that's not the plan

This is not what you had in mind

I shot in heaven, now I cry

No one lives forever, in fact we all die

From those who bust shots to those who stuff cops

To those who serve rocks on all the hard blocks

Every last soul must pay the last toll

In the dice game of life, who gets the last roll?

Is it the one with the suit? The one with the sack?

The one who hides behind his fuckin' gun and his badge?

Negative outlook? Well, that's how I'm livin'

And like he said, it's a wicked world we live in

It's a wicked world we live in

I'm wiggin out, flippin' out, hearts is what I'm rippin' out

I'm slippin' out, I'm dippin' out, killin's what I'm livin' out

Pick 'em, let me pick 'em out, spin and let me whip it out

Gat to your face with the fuckin' bullets stickin' out

Missin' out, diss and bout, blood's what you're pissin' out

84 I'm Crazy Horse, shootin' up, I'm illin' out

Rippin' out, I'm trippin' out, different now, I'm pimpin' out

Any color at my belt and ouch while they're clippin out

Criminal I'm hittin' out, in L.A. no gettin' out

2 1 3, pack your P, fly wicked style

Listen now, I'm sinnin' out, a 6-pack I'm sippin' out

It's a wicked world that we live in

It's cruel and unforgiving

It's a wicked world that we live in

It's cruel and unforgiving

Yo, representin no doubt

2002 baby transplants

WHAT! HA HA HA!'

I started to listen to it on my Spotify and I actually lime the early 2000s music.  But I told Alex who was actually tormenting me.  Kari and jeni.  They were my best friends until now. Soon, I was thinking about Jannie in a more loving light.  I could not help but picture her and feel something warm and fuzzy.  

That was when she said that maybe meeting January was a good idea.   I actually like this woman, I would mind calling her mother.

Alex said that she liked my room.  My room looked like an LSD trip. It was colorful, and I went that a little far on the decorating.  But what girl at 13 did not do such a thing.  As I looked around my room, I wondered what January's room was like.

I went to text January about something  that was when I heard my father's void raised.  "Shot she is gay." 

"Well, she told me," Alex said. 

"I thought little jannie  was just a friend.  Well, it is what it is."

Soon, my father went into my room to talk to me about just life in general.

"So I hear you like January," he said in a compassionate way.  "That is a good thing....you are turning into a woman now."

"Yeah, well, it would be easier without the clowns..."

"You mean jeni and Kari," he said.  "Alex will deal with them."

"How,"  I asked.  "I don't want  to make waves."

"She will for you."

"Tell her thanks....."

As I went go back to my artwork and my music.  I would  have liked this the night of the dance, but I felt like I had to hide from him.

But I think he is kind of new.  That brings  me to tears a little, but I could do nothing about it now.

And so I draw on.

As I looked at a picture that January took over her face, I could not help but think about wonderful things associated with her. Making a funny face.  I started to laugh about the look on her face.    I thought she looked cute but goofy, too.  

I texted her,'I just tell him about my feelings for you!'

'What did he say.'

'He thinks it is good.'

'So we can date....'

'Yes,' I texted. 'I love you.'

'Love you too.'

Soon, I sent her a picture of me making a monkey face and then a kissing face. It was my way to say that I like her.  I soon saw a kiss '💋' emoji.

I could not help but smile.  Soon, I used that picture of her as my wallpaper.